What the Bible Says About Same Sex Marriage
Is Homosexuality a Sin?
By Betty Miller
What does the Bible say about same sex marriage and homosexuality? When the Supreme Court of the United States declared that same-sex marriage (a homosexual union) was a constitutional right in America, it was a shock to all Bible believing Christians. It was not only an assault against a foundational doctrine of the church worldwide, but it also placed the church in the USA in a position of how they are to react to this new law in a Christian manner. First of all, every Christian must always side with the Word of God when the subject of sin comes up and the Bible defines what constitutes sin. We must never violate our conscience on any matter.
Laws of the State v. Laws of God
Since the Bible states God created male and female and He is the One Who ordained marriage, then He alone has the right to define what a marriage is. Any court or government that rules differently is now opposing the Word of God. This ruling to God’s people is like the same ruling that permitted abortions in our nation back in 1973 when Roe V. Wade declared that states could not ban abortions because it was unconstitutional. Therefore, abortions became legal. However, just because certain things are legal by the government standards, it does not make them legal by God’s standards. We must now pray and work toward reversing the same sex marriage law, just as we are working to reverse the pro-abortion law. We are to be “salt” and “light” to the world so that our culture and society and nation can be blessed, instead of suffering the curses that come in the form of judgments on our nation. And they will surely come upon us because of our national sins and because the Word of God is clear that we reap what we sow. The only way to avert judgment is to repent and turn from our sin and return to God. God wants to use His people to bring about a revival in our nation and restore us to righteousness.
As Christians we are taught to obey the law of our governments, except when they go against the laws of God (Romans 13). When things are required of us that defile our conscience and our Bible beliefs, then we must be willing to stand for those beliefs and bear the consequences for refusing to yield to what the Bible calls sin. This is suffering for Christ.
We realize that the subject of homosexuality can be a very difficult one to address; however, the church must address it with love and truth from the Bible. Furthermore, as hate crimes specifically committed against homosexuals occur, many feel that this issue should not be addressed at all for fear of only adding to the hostile environment that many homosexuals face. Despite the cultural climate in which we live, this issue must be addressed according to the Word of God. God’s laws are always for our good, although man may see them as restricting. In the end, only obedience to the Word of God can bring true freedom. We address this issue out of God’s love for homosexuals to bless and help them, not condemn them. However, in order to be free from homosexuality, it must be understood from a biblical perspective and not what any man thinks about it. God created men and women so He is the authority on the subject. He is the author of marriage and He alone has the right to define it. Marriage between a man and woman was created to bless them; however, when man deviates from the Bible way, it produces the death principal and brings a curse instead of blessing upon mankind.
God’s Original Plan for Marriage
Actually marriage is a sacred bond or covenant between a man and woman instituted by God and should be celebrated in a ceremony that should be done publicly before the church members who know these individuals. It was intended by God to be a life time commitment and was considered consummated by sexual intercourse on the wedding night. Both parties were to be virgins before they came together in this holy union. This was God’s original plan. The taking of the vows before men and God was to be considered a serious promise or pledge and their words to each other were never to be broken. The Bible calls it a “one flesh” union as it is the most intimate of all human relationships. Here are the words of Jesus in
Matthew 19:4-6: “And he answered and said unto them, Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.”
Now for those who have broken this commandment there is forgiveness and God can make a new life for those who have sincerely repented of their past sins, especially if you have divorced and are getting ready to remarry.
How is the Spirit of Death and Homosexuality Connected?
Anything that produces and leads to death is not from God as He is a God of life. In that vein, let us look at homosexuality. As you read, remember this is not my words or opinion, nor any other man’s words or opinion, but I am quoting from the Word of God.
- Homosexual marriages kill the ability to reproduce, as a homosexual union cannot produce children. (Just as abortion kills babies, so homosexual unions prevent children from being born.)
- Homosexuality and abortion both produce death, not life.
- Homosexuality and abortion are both choices. We are asked in the Bible to choose life. Our choices will either produce a curse in our lives or a blessing. Deuteronomy 30:19: “I call heaven and earth to record this day against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing: therefore choose life, that both thou and thy seed may live.” It is God’s will that our seed live and not die. A homosexual lifestyle cannot produce seed.
Much of our society has embraced many perverted sexual practices that are considered in the Bible as abominations to God. Homosexuality is among the list of deviate or abnormal sexual practices; however, there are many other practices that can be included as well. Pornography, pedophilia, prostitution, bestiality, incest, oral sex, phone sex and computer virtual reality sex, just to name a few of them.
“Do you not know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters, nor adulterers nor male prostitutes nor homosexual offenders nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God” (1 Corinthians 6:9-10 (NIV).
Although the Bible does not detail each and every one of these sinful acts, it does clearly speak out about many of them. Any deviation from God’s original plan for sex between a married man and woman is still a sin in God’s eyes. The main reason we call these things perverted is because they are unnatural and scripture clearly tells us those who do such things are committing abominations. Leviticus 18:22 (KJV): “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind it is abomination.”
Does it Matter What We do in Private?
The Bible says that God sees and knows what is in our hearts and we are judged by that behavior. Acts 8:22: “Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.”
The Bible also says that a man can commit adultery by simply lusting after a woman in his heart without actually committing the carnal act of adultery. Matthew 5:28: “But I say unto you, That whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart.”
Proverbs 23:7a: “For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he…”
What this means, is that evil practiced in private behavior becomes evil in public behavior. This will explain why so many people are committing murder. Because they have been practicing murder in video games, it eventually instills a murdering attitude in their hearts. Then out of the heart comes the deed of murder.
Mark 7:21: “For from within, out of the heart of men, proceed evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders.”
The Sin of Sodomy
Homosexuality is also referred to as the sin of sodomy. This reference comes from an account in the Bible of two exceedingly wicked cities, Sodom and Gomorrah, which the Lord destroyed. Sodom was known for its rampant homosexuality and unrestrained sexual lust, as well as other sins such as arrogance, haughtiness, and disregard for the poor. When the Lord sent angels to warn Lot who lived in the city that it was about to be destroyed, the men of the city actually wanted to rape the angels! Genesis 13:13: “But the men of Sodom were wicked and sinners before the LORD exceedingly.”
In the Old Testament, the penalty for this sin was severe. Leviticus 20:13: “ If a man lies with a male as if he were a woman, both men have committed an offense (something perverse, unnatural, abhorrent, and detestable); they shall surely be put to death; their blood shall be upon them.”
In the New Testament, if we accept Jesus as our savior, we are set free from the penalty of death, as Jesus took the penalty for us on the cross. However, without Christ, when people commit sexual sins, the penalty of death comes in the form of AIDS and other sexually transmitted diseases. It also brings death to the soul and spirit of man because the life of God is pushed out by indulging in something that is an abomination to God. God wants to deliver all who are trapped in this unholy practice and He will if anyone calls out to Him with a sincere heart. In the New Testament of the Bible, we find Jesus came to deliver us from sin. All we have to do is acknowledge our sin and repent of those sins and then we are granted mercy and grace and our sins are washed away because Jesus died and took the punishment of our sins on the cross.
We certainly acknowledge that AIDS has broken out of the homosexual community, and now, many innocent people are suffering with this disease through no fault of their own. However, the intent of the above statement is not directed to those who have innocently contracted this disease, but rather to the sinners who are spreading it. A comparison could be made to those who smoke. Smokers are opening themselves up for lung cancer, COPD and emphysema; however, the people who are subjected to breathing the smoke second-hand are also subject to these diseases. The person who willfully smokes is guilty of destroying their own bodies, but should those who are forced to live in the environment of the smoke, get lung cancer or other lung diseases, they are not guilty of the sin of tobacco addiction. When we teach that smoking causes lung cancer, we are not judging or condemning those who innocently get lung cancer from breathing second-hand smoke. It is simply a true fact that smoking can cause lung cancer.
The same is true of AIDS. A homosexual life style increases the risk of that person contracting AIDS. There is no condemnation or judgment against those who innocently contract this disease through no fault of their own (for instance, through blood transfusions.) However, since AIDS is most prevalent in the homosexual community, we need to warn people of the dangers of homosexuality, so that AIDS and sexually transmitted diseases are not spread to the rest of society, as now, many heterosexuals have contracted these diseases too, through unfaithful partners.
“Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonour their own bodies between themselves: Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed for ever. Amen. For this cause God gave them up unto vile affections: for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature: And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly, and receiving in themselves that recompense of their error which was meet. And even as they did not like to retain God in their knowledge, God gave them over to a reprobate mind, to do those things which are not convenient; Being filled with all unrighteousness, fornication, wickedness, covetousness, maliciousness; full of envy, murder, debate, deceit, malignity; whisperers, backbiters, haters of God, despiteful, proud, boasters, inventors of evil things, disobedient to parents, without understanding, covenantbreakers, without natural affection, implacable, unmerciful: Who knowing the judgment of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them” (Romans 1:24-32).
These scriptures clearly state that these vile affections of men lusting for other men (gay men) or women lusting for other women (lesbians) are not the natural affections God created men and women to have for one another. Let me say here that God loves all homosexuals! However, He hates the deeds of homosexuality because they are sinful. God did not create any human being as a homosexual. They are not born that way, just as murderers are not born that way. However, these spirits can be transmitted to children, especially if someone who had this demonic spirit seduced or raped a child – or even if they were intimately close to gay people. These demons can also be imparted to others through unholy sexual acts. This is one reason why homosexuals should not be allowed to adopt or foster orphan children.
Are People Born as Homosexuals?
Some people believe that they are born as homosexuals. However, this is not true. When God created the earth and everything in it, including the first man and the first woman, He declared, it was good. Now if God created the woman for the man and declared it was good, then He is not going to contradict that statement in the rest of the Bible. Homosexual marriage is not good according to the Bible. Only hetersexual marriage is good.
Genesis 1:31: “And God saw every thing that he had made, and, behold, it was very good.”
People become homosexuals because they yield to abnormal acts or lust. Some people do this because they are deceived, others simply yield to their own unholy desires. Many, through some source, have received a demonic spirit that drives them to their lust. Viewing evil videos or pornographic books is one way of opening the door for Satan to give one an evil, perverse spirit. Though people are not born as homosexuals, the Bible does say all human beings are born with a sin nature. We know a number of people personally, and have heard testimonies of many others, who have come out of a homosexual lifestyle through the acceptance of Christ and obedience to His Word. God is no respecter of persons and what He has done for others, He will do for you if you have need of this deliverance.
To try and compare being born a homosexual to being born as black person is like comparing apples to oranges. The Bible says we cannot change the color of our skin, but it does not tell us that homosexuality is how He created man; therefore, that feeling or personality can be changed. In fact, God said in the Bible that not only was His creation good, but He also told man to multiply, so God would not have created a person as an homosexual, as they could not multiply and God would not tell men and women to do something that they could not accomplish.
Jeremiah 13:23a: “Can the Ethiopian change his skin, or the leopard his spots?…”
Genesis 1:28: “And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.”
The Bible does say we are born with a sin nature; however, we are told how to free ourselves from that sin nature. Through repenting of our sin and turning to Jesus, we can overcome any sin and any temptation to do evil. Now remember, we must go to the Bible to define what is evil and what constitutes sin. Practicing homosexual behavior is only one of many sins that we, as humans, may be guilty of. Adultery and fornication are sinful, as well, and many people are committing these sins. Some people have murderous impulses and as a society we do not sanction them to murder, and it should be the same with homosexuality.
Ministering to Homosexuals
I have heard people state they have friends that are homosexuals and they do not want to alienate them. If we really love those friends who are homosexuals, the church should be telling them to resist those homosexual tendencies or temptations, not encouraging them to yield to them, nor should we give them a license to practice sin. We should not be unkind to them but reaching out in love to them to help them get free.
Gay marriage is a sin and if we love people who are in unholy relationships, we should be trying to help them get free and not just standing back and tolerating their sin. This is especially true when people have friends or family who are gay. If we love them, we must pray and fast for them and reach out in the love of God to them and tell them there is a way for them to be free, as the life style they are pursuing will lead them to destruction.
If I had a friend who was an alcoholic and I knew their continued drinking would eventually kill them and destroy their families, I would be praying or them and trying to help them get free from that bondage; therefore, we should, as the church, be trying to help people get free from the sin of homosexuality, as well. Although God hates the sin of homosexuality, He loves the sinner and wants to set them free.
If we yield to the evils of our flesh it will lead to our destruction not only in this life, but in the life to come. However, through faith in Jesus Christ and His death on the cross we can break the hold that sin has upon us. We do not have to yield to the old fleshy nature but we can now overcome evil temptations and live our lives controlled by the Holy Spirit.
“There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For the law of the Spirit of life in Christ Jesus hath made me free from the law of sin and death. For what the law could not do, in that it was weak through the flesh, God sending his own Son in the likeness of sinful flesh, and for sin, condemned sin in the flesh: That the righteousness of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. For they that are after the flesh do mind the things of the flesh; but they that are after the Spirit the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death; but to be spiritually minded is life and peace. Because the carnal mind is enmity against God: for it is not subject to the law of God, neither indeed can be. So then they that are in the flesh cannot please God. But ye are not in the flesh, but in the Spirit, if so be that the Spirit of God dwell in you. Now if any man have not the Spirit of Christ, he is none of his. And if Christ be in you, the body is dead because of sin; but the Spirit is life because of righteousness. But if the Spirit of him that raised up Jesus from the dead dwell in you, he that raised up Christ from the dead shall also quicken your mortal bodies by his Spirit that dwelleth in you. Therefore, brethren, we are debtors, not to the flesh, to live after the flesh. For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, they are the sons of God. For ye have not received the spirit of bondage again to fear; but ye have received the Spirit of adoption, whereby we cry, Abba, Father” (Romans 8:1-15).
Perverted Sexual Acts
Sex is God’s idea and its purpose is not only for procreation, but also for recreation and the development of a deep relationship between a man and a woman. Nothing is wrong or dirty about sex when it is engaged in the bonds of marriage, as the Lord commanded in the Bible. However, when perversions are committed inside the marriage relationship, this can be sinful also. God made man and woman and brought them together “face to face.” Oral sex is of homosexual origin that replaces the normal “face to face” relationship God intended in a marriage. The Bible describes the sex act in Song of Solomon Chapter 4. In this chapter, it speaks of this “face to face” relationship by describing looking into his lover’s eyes and kissing his lover’s lips and fondling his lover’s breasts. Oral sex is not normal nor is it natural, as it is an unclean act.
I have heard the homosexual community voice this statement, “Don’t tell me who I can love.” The purpose of writing this article is not to tell anyone what they can do, or not do. We all have a choice as to what we do. God gives us a choice. We can choose to go to heaven through repenting and accepting Jesus as our savior, or we can continue in our sin and end up in hell. This article is written to people who want to know what the Bible says about the subject and to share God’s viewpoint on this issue. It is written to show people the way to be free from the sin of homosexuality. Yes, we can all love whom and what we want to love; but, many of the things we love are not good for us. We also need to understand the Bible definition of love. It is not strictly an emotion for some other human being. In fact, the Bible tells us some forms of what the world calls “love” are forbidden by God. For example, if we are married, we sin if we partake in an affair of adultery with another person. Now people may “feel” the emotion of love for another person while married, but that emotion is not love, but rather lust. The true definition of “love” is “God is love.” True love is a commitment, not a feeling. We are told in the Bible not to lust after or love anything that God calls sin in the Bible. Homosexual unions are sinful because they are condemned in the Bible. God tells us in His Word what is acceptable and unacceptable, as the Bible is the Christian’s standard of living. In our society, we are letting men define what is acceptable and because many people do not want to give up their sin, they try to get the laws changed to accommodate their sins so they do not have to give them up. They refuse to come to Jesus for cleansing.
No one has to live in bondage with an abnormal life of homosexuality, nor any other abnormal behavior. No one has to be controlled by pornography, incest, adultery or fornication. No one has to have evil thoughts plague their minds. There is a way out through what Jesus has done for us. He loves sinners and wants to free us from any evil practices. He will empower those who cry out for deliverance to get free and stay free. You can be set free.
As Christians, if we really love our friends who are trapped in this sin, we should try and help them get free by praying for them and showing them the way out. We must minister to them in a caring way and not one of condemnation as all sin is not acceptable to God and we must remember we were sinners saved by grace as well even if we never committed this particular sin.
Scriptures That Tell us to Resist Lust and Inordinate Affections from the Amplified Bible
Romans 1:24: “Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their (own) hearts to sexual impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves (abandoning them to the degrading power of sin).”
Romans 1:27: “And the men also turned from natural relations with women and were set ablaze (burning out, consumed) with lust for one another–men committing shameful acts with men and suffering in their own bodies (and) personalities the inevitable consequences (and) penalty of their wrong-doing (and) going astray, which was (their) fitting retribution.”
Romans 6:12: “Let not sin therefore rule as king in your mortal (short-lived, perishable) bodies, to make you yield to its cravings (and) be subject to its lusts (and) evil passions.”
Romans 7:8 &24 &25: “But sin, finding opportunity in the commandment (to express itself), got a hold on me (and) aroused (and) stimulated all kinds of forbidden desires lust, covetousness). For without the Law sin is dead (the sense of it is inactive and a lifeless thing). — 24 O unhappy and pitiable and wretched man that I am! Who will release and deliver me from [the shackles of] this body of death? 25 O thank God! [He will!] through Jesus Christ (the Anointed One) our Lord! So then indeed I, of myself with the mind and heart, serve the Law of God, but with the flesh the law of sin.”
Romans 13:14: “But clothe yourself with the Lord Jesus Christ (the Messiah), and make no provision for (indulging) the flesh (put a stop to thinking about the evil cravings of your physical nature) to (gratify its) desires lusts).”
1 Corinthians 5:5: “You are to deliver this man over to Satan for physical discipline (to destroy carnal lusts which prompted him to incest), that (his) spirit may (yet) be saved in the day of the Lord Jesus.”
1 Corinthians 10:6: “Now these things are examples (warnings and admonitions) for us not to desire (or) crave (or) covet (or) lust after evil (and) carnal things as they did.”
Ephesians 4:22: “Strip yourselves of your former nature (put off and discard your old unrenewed self) which characterized your previous manner of life and becomes corrupt through lusts (and) desires that spring from delusion.”
Ephesians 5:3: “But immorality (sexual vice) and all impurity (of lustful, rich, wasteful living) or greediness must not even be named among you, as is fitting (and) proper among saints (God’s consecrated people).”
Steps to Freedom from Homosexuality
Here are the steps you must take to get free:
- Make a total commitment to the Lord Jesus Christ. Be willing to turn your life completely over to the will of God and yield to His plan for your life. This means you must be willing to do anything, go anywhere and give up any thing as He leads. Remember, God will never lead you to do anything that is not in agreement with the Bible. You can trust God. He created you and has a better plan for your life. He will remove all guilt and shame and He will give you peace and a new life in Him. You will experience His love and forgiveness. He loves you no matter what you have done.
- Your must pray and read your Bible daily. You must study and apply the Word of God to overcome Satan’s attacks. The way that you resist the attacks of the devil is by quoting the Word of God to the devil. When the devil came to tempt Jesus, He simply quoted the Word to him. Good praise tapes will also be of a great help when you are tempted. Put one on and start singing and praising God along with it.
- You must pray for, and seek out, a strong Bible believing group of Holy Spirit filled people. You will need their help and fellowship. As you humble yourself and seek help, the Lord will deliver you. Ask God to lead you to someone that can pray the prayer of deliverance for you, as you may need to be set free from a demon. You should also seek to be filled with the Holy Spirit as you will need His power to get free and to remain free.
- You must cut off all sources and relationships that would lead you back into sin. The Bible tells us to flee fornication (sexual sins). You must get out of any corrupt entanglements, or areas that you know will be a temptation to you. If you have been hooked on internet pornography subscribe to an Internet Service Provider that will filter out the pornography for you. Destroy all evil books and videos.
- Should you slip or fall back occasionally, repent and get right back up and go on with God. Do not allow the devil to condemn you once you have repented. Put your sin under the blood of Jesus. He will strengthen you and you will win this battle because of the Lord’s promise to you. Remember, He loves you and is there to help you. Run to Him when you get in trouble, never run from Him. He will not ever give up on you! We too, will be standing with you for your total healing and deliverance. Philippians 1:6: “Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.”
- You must forgive everyone that has ever hurt you. You can only do this through the power of God. You must by a simple act of your will voice the forgiveness and then the Lord will give you the feeling of forgiveness. This may be a while in coming but just keep forgiving when you think of any wrong that has been done to you. The Lord will give you His love for those people who have wronged you.
PRAYER FOR DELIVERANCE
Finally, we want to pray for you right now if you need it:
Dear Heavenly Father,
We come to you in the mighty name of Jesus and we ask that you touch this one right now, first of all with your love and forgiveness. Lord, wash their sins away. Wash away all the uncleanness and guilt. Lord, we ask you to free them right now from the powers of darkness.
Now, we speak to Satan and his demons and we command them to leave in the name of Jesus! Satan, this one is no longer under your power. The blood of Jesus has set them free! We resist you and you must flee! This one belongs to God and you have no more authority over them! Be gone!
Dear Lord, thank you that you have set this one free and we are believing that you will lead them to the right people that will help them to walk out this deliverance. We break every chain of iniquity over their life and cancel every evil word that has been spoken against them. We declare they will walk in your victory and that you will enable them to do it. Lord, fill them with your Holy Spirit and guide them in the ways of God! We speak blessing and success to them. Most of all, we pray that they will feel your love for them right now. We ask this all in the precious name of Jesus. Amen.
Testimony of Janet Boynes, an Ex-Lesbian
Sometimes the hurt in our hearts cuts so deeply that even hope seems impossible. I am writing this because I have been at that place in my life, where I felt I was without love and without hope, and I want my story to be an example for all who feel that they are in a similar place…Continue Reading
If you need further help, email us or you can get help from the ministry listed below: (You can also go to the link below so you do not have to struggle with this issue alone.)
Janet Boynes is the founder of Janet Boynes Ministries, a nondenominational outreach that ministers to individuals questioning their sexuality and those who wish to leave homosexuality. As the author of “Called Out,” Boynes chronicles her story of living as a lesbian for 14 years until God called her out of that lifestyle.
Desert Streams: This is a California-based Christian organization which offers programs for people seeking sexual and relational wholeness and healing.
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